


Be With Me

by remangel98



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Week, Reylo fix-it, Reylofest, Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars - Freeform, The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi - Freeform, World Between Worlds, reylo multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:20:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remangel98/pseuds/remangel98
Summary: Rey's other half disappears on Exegol and she is left completely broken, unable to tell her friends about her pain. She's entirely alone, and that pain boils over into a kind of desperate passion she's never felt before and yet she can't explain it or figure out what it is. Something's been calling to her, something that feels dangerous but comfortingly familiar. But it can't be him.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10
Collections: Reylo, Star Wars, reylo trash





	Be With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a TROS Fix-It Fic. Because I'm still not over it and I'll never be over it.

Be With Me – Chapter 1: A Secret

“Ben...”

Ben’s hand rested lightly on her neck, like he was hesitant to touch her, unsure how she would react after everything they had been through but still ready to catch her if she fell again. Rey beamed up at him like she was looking at him for the first time, and in a way she was. Months ago on the Finalizer, she saw a glimmer of him, a breakthrough moment quickly overtaken by the darkness Snoke had forged. She knew what Kylo had done, but all she saw in him now was Ben and his light and everything he had given up for her.  
She reached up and stroked his dusty cheek, eyeing where his scar used to be, her scar. Rey took a deep breath, knowing what she wanted to do but not knowing if she was ready, if they were ready. But as Ben’s soft gaze flickered back and forth between her eyes and her lips, she knew he was feeling the same way. Rey blinked back tears, took a deep breath and pulled him to her.  
It was as if the galaxy melted away when their lips touched. There was no war, no conflict, no dark side, no light. There was no force, just the two of them finally where they belong after years of desperation and pain.  
Rey could feel it in him, the melting of the galaxy. She could feel all of him. His hand moved from the back of her neck to the side of her face, cradling it like his most precious thing. Her skin was soft against his hand, but he could feel her entire being, all of her. She felt him in her mind, a warm, shining light that seemed to be touching every part of her with his presence as if he knew it would be his last chance. Rey deepened the kiss, slowing it down but pushing him back with the ferocity he had become used to in his time knowing her.  
I’m not going anywhere, Ben. It’s okay…

He pulled back slowly and they looked at each other the way they had been wanting to look at each other since they had touched hands by the fire on Ach-to. Ben laughed in awe of the moment, pure gratitude for it pumping through his veins like a drug. Her fingers ghosted over his ear, then traced a line across his cheek and onto his bottom lip. But then his eyes drooped. And her smile disappeared when he collapsed.  
“N- Ben!”  
Rey allowed herself to be dragged down with him, nearly falling on top of his limp form. The dust clouded around them as his body touched the ground and Rey couldn’t think with the pounding weight of loss that she didn’t understand yet. She shook him lightly, whispering his name in a confused desperation. When he didn’t respond, a guilty panic began to set in as she realized what he had done for her.  
“No…Ben. No, no, no, no, NO!”  
Tears blurred her vision as she felt half of her die. It was a pain like nothing she had ever felt before, like someone had pulled her heart out of her chest, tore it in half and placed the shattered remains back in her center, the empty space where her dyad use to rumble inside her feeling more painful than the wound itself. Rey collapsed on his chest, almost completely on top of him with her feet catching on his thighs. She wrapped her arms around him as if she was trying to force the two of them back together, but nothing would work. She was completely overwhelmed, not even comprehending what she was doing with her hands, feeling completely out-of-body. Her hand found the hole in his sweater that she had made, the slightest feeling of his skin making her choke on her own shaky breath. Her grip on his waist seemed to give way, and her head jerked up to look at his closed eyes as his body began to fade and the black sweater flatten out onto the rubble. Rey grabbed at it and yelped, choking on tears and desperation as she sobbed into the torn fabric, rocking and shaking while she clung to it like it was life itself. And it was. He was gone. She could feel the weight of his absence in her uneven breaths, in the hole in her chest, in the ghost of his touch on the back of her neck.  
And her lips. After everything they had gone through to get to that point… After they finally found peace and comfort in each other, the Force had taken him from her.  
And she would never have peace again. 

Luke and Leia’s sabers felt heavier than ever on her belt. Rey didn’t know if it was purely physical exhaustion, or if she just couldn’t even fathom the idea of wielding either of them without him now that she had felt what it was like to be by his side. She was miserable on the walk back to Luke’s X-Wing, and that feeling was made worse when she saw the TIE fighter that would remain on Exegol with the remains of the imperial fleet. She tugged on the sleeves of Ben’s sweater to tighten its grip on her waist as she forced herself to look away and board Luke’s ship. She wanted the sweater to bring her some form of comfort, but found it hard to feel anything at all. As the X-Wing lifted off the ground, Rey kept her eyes forward, trying to focus on what’s falling from the sky ahead of her and seeing where the other ships were headed. She heard Poe say something over the comms, but couldn’t make herself listen to what he was saying. She followed the massive group of ships, knowing that when they arrived back at the base, her friends would want answers regarding what happened in the temple. And she knew they would all be celebrating their triumphant victory over the Final Order. They would all be so happy. And deep-down Rey knew that this celebration would be earned. It was everything they had been fighting for. But Rey realized, as smoke and dust clouded the glass of the ship, that Rey had been fighting for a completely different reason this entire time, and she didn’t feel like celebrating. She had lost. She lost everything and was completely numb to whatever it was she knew the others would be feeling. They would never understand, and she will never be able to find peace. She’d have to keep this feeling a secret. Protect it. Protect them. Protect herself. Protect him. And she was dreading it. All of it.

When Rey landed, the crowd of Resistance fighters swarmed her. But the comforting pats on the back and praises from people she felt she barely knew almost felt like a form of mocking. Like the universe, or the Force, was toying with her. Seeing Finn and Poe together and alive gave her the first inkling of warmth. She hugged them tight, bringing herself as close to them as possible. 

Rey had cried for hours in the secrecy of her room while the rest of the resistance cheered and sang outside her door. She laid still in her bed on top of the covers, his sweater sitting clumped and dirty in a pile next to her. Her fingers danced on the worn collar, but she didn’t clutch at it like she did on Exegol. She gave it space, almost as if it was Ben himself. She could imagine him sleeping next to her in the morning, sleeping soundly while she admired him before they got up for the day, keeping herself still so she wouldn’t wake him. The sun would rise and glow through the window, and Rey loved the way he looked in her head, bathed in light, so at peace. It was torture for her to think about what could have been, and it was torture just listening to the sounds of celebration outside. Her tears had stopped, replaced by a blinding rage. She was angry at herself for directing her rage at her friends, as if they had any reason to not be happy the war was over. She was angry at herself for letting Ben die, as if there was something, anything she could have done to prevent it. But most of all, she was mind-numbingly furious with the very thing that stole him from her. The Force.  
Just hours ago, she had found comfort in reaching out to the Jedi, in connecting with the all-powerful balance that gave her another chance, a new life. But now, all she felt was this seething, bubbling ache in her chest. The feeling was horrific, and she resigned herself to sit with it, to soak it in. Self-pity consumed her, along with her loneliness.  
I have to get used to it. I have to take it and walk out there and force a smile on my face. People are probably already talking.

But she couldn’t. Even as she separated herself from her last piece of him laying on the bed, stopped looking at it, stopped touching it, the pain didn’t fade. It was too powerful for her to put on a show. She needed space. From everyone and everything. Rey turned around and tearfully looked down at the sweater again. With an angry huff, she swiped it off the bed and prepared herself to walk out the door. She needed to be careful if she didn’t want to be spotted. With her luck, Finn would be watching and waiting for her to come out. But he wasn’t there when she took a tentative step out of her room, and if he was watching from afar, no one came running for her.  
That night, after a painful few hours of battling her own emotions, Rey fell asleep on the Falcon, the feint sound of a cheerful Resistance far behind her.

\- chapter 2 coming soon -


End file.
